Conversations with my younger self?

We have been on a redecorationg drive recently and in doing so have been moving loads of old(er) things. Something I came across was my photo albums - from the days when it was film that had to be developed and printed!!! Hands up who remembers those days?

Anyway I came across a picture of myself (and others) from (I think) the summer of 1985. What struck me was that it was a very similar pose to one taken last Autumn ie 27 years later. The result of putting them together and aligning them similarly is shown above.

Even though I say so myself I don't think I have worn too badly. Greyer hair tho' maybe a little less, better glasses(?) and different silver chains, but the ears haven't dropped, there aren't too many wrinkles and only one less tooth!

1985 was the summer after I got engaged and before I was married. I am still married 27 years later. I was then working for a large american bank and living in a flat in Chiswick. I currently still work in the City, but as a self-employed change contractor.

Posting this picture on Facebook has made few people smile, and in doing so it made me think of Pink's track "Conversations with my 13 year old self". It set me wondering what these two (handsome?) men would talk about if they were to meet face-to-face.

I think "older" me would make the point that one has to be prepared that life seldom works out exactly as you plan it. Back then I recall we thought we would get married in 1986 (we did), start a family in 1988 (we didn't manage that until 1995), have three children (we have but one beautiful daughter - who can sometimes feel as if she is the work of three) and that I would be looking to retire before 2010 (likely to be working for some time yet!).  That is not to say that "Plan B" (or is it "Plan Z" by now?) is bad, it most certainly is not, but personally and as part of a couple and a family it has required more agility, adaptability and recallibration than I ever expected. This is not so say one shouldn't have dreams or fight to achieve them, but rather that one has to learn when it is time to change course. The sooner you start to practice that the more skilled you become and the easier it is.

In contrast the "younger" me could well have reminded the older me of the need to keep some fun in your life. I don't think this is a problem with me now, but was during some of the intervening years. Life became a little intense and I let myself become drained. It is important to stay well in all respects if I am to be the man, husband, father and friend I hope to be. A key revelation during that "middle" period was that there is only one person responsible for your happiness and that is yourself. There is no point blaming others or the circumstances around you. Similarly it is not enough just to keep others happy if you are not. This was a lesson hard learned, but I think my wife will attest that I do now take time to do what I enjoy even if others don't. I like rugby ad sci-fi, reading and the movies, and I have an eclectic taste in music. I am not entirely alone in that my daughter likes Dr Who and the cinema as well as some of my taste in music (she likes Deep Purple!).

Oh did I forget that I like real beer too!!

I think that both "older" and "younger" me would agree that one should look to take opportunities when they appear. I think this is something my parents, but especially my mother, placed in my mind. The younger me did a fair amount of travelling with Kim, my wife, making the most of those years when there were just two of us. Latterly I am trying some new things each year. I have had writings and photographs published in national publications and I am blogging (obviously!). Last year I had a go at painting with watercolours  and this year I will attend a stand up comedy course. No, I don't think I am funny, but I am interested in seeing what I can learn from it. Trying something new keeps the juices going.

When I look at all the things that have happened in 27 years, I would be lying if I were to say everything was perfect, but in truth it is pretty good. What didn't kill me, made me stronger and I honestly think that faced with what I faced I would have made pretty much the same decisions again.

If the two "me"s had met and discussed matters I think they would have parted friends, a little wiser and pretty happy. That is not too shabby!