The moments that make it all worthwhile!

 
I think any parent knows that there are ups and downs in the interaction with your child and that has certainly been my experience, but there are moments that shine so bright that they completely obliterate the difficulties and make it all worthwhile.

I realise that I may sell my daughter short in this piece, because there are many more "moments" that the ones I will record, but that does not detract from the beauty of these occassions.

The first I will cite was a morning in a hotel on the way to Scotland. My daughter was probably around 4 or 5 years old. We were staying in a mid-rane hotel and my daughter was sleeping in a pull out bed in our room. As I woke and opened my eyes I was greeted by a little face cracked by a beaming smile and the words "Morning Daddy". Now who wouldn't melt?

The second was the inspiration for a piece I wrote to a short piece for a national newspaper competition.

Supernova Good

"Come on, Dad, admit it. I am better than you!"

This had been her cry from the very start, but it was not a competition – well, not for me. Instead, this turned out to be one of those happenings, more than a moment, but less than forever; something that feeds the soul and nurtures love, more than making up for other troubled times.

Nothing can prepare you to be a parent. Love just appears and is irrevocable, no matter what happens. The challenges you face are unique in the same way that you and your child are unique. As they grow it does not become better, just different.

When they are young you live for those good morning smiles as they open their eyes and the spontaneous hugs that reach inside and grip your heart. As they grow older and more self conscious you need to find other moments. Teenage years can be barren, but a time when you see a new, fuller person emerge. It can be much harder to love your child as they test themselves and you, but still you do and when it is good it can be supernova good.

To others this was simply a father and child playing nine-hole golf. To me it was a magnificent afternoon. We talked, we laughed, we helped each other, we kissed at the end and we reflected over a drink. Yes, there was a frisson of competition, at least in her mind, but that just added to the fun.

I was so proud that she was my daughter and felt privileged to have spent such time with her. I doubt it meant the same to her; she will forget it quickly, but I never will. It will remain one of those treasures I draw upon to balance the challenges ahead.

The last two I will add here came on the same day last week. In the morning we received a letter from my daughter's school. The weekend before she had completed around 5 days of canoe training and a practice expedition for her Duke of Edinburgh's Gold Award. This was on the River Severn and included negotiating rapids and camping out.

Now my daughter is not what you might call the outdoors type, more the "ASOS" and fashion type. When she did her Silver expedition it seems she thought that foundation was effective as a sun block _ wrong! On her Bronze training she managed to drown her Blackberry, a lifeline that was almost surgically implanted in her hand.

So when we received this from teh teacher overseeing her Award work it was something of a surprise and pleasure.
Now Ellen says it is a stock letter, but we think otherwise. It is another side of the girl who even now is lying in her bed putting off schoolwork.

The last item was that evening, when we went out to dinner as a family. This was an outing in recognition of some work I had done for a consultancy and was to a very nice restaurant. Not only was Ellen beautifully turned out (see picture at the start), she was excellent company for the evening. We had good conversation and she enjoyed a whole set of experiences that would have caused friction at home. For example she ate pigeon; in fact she ate everything she was given except some rhubarb that came with her duck. All in all it was a pleasure to have her with us and a source of pride that she handled herself so well.

She also held her father's arm as she walked from the car. This is a definite "no-no" in usual life. That said it was largely a safety issue given the towering heels she was wearing and the fact that she thought she looked better holding a man's arm than her mother's.

Still these are the moments you live for as a parent - may there be many more!