Further advice of developing gravitas

As I have mentioned before a good number of readers who come to this blog do so as the result of Google searches relating to gravitas. This seems to be the result of my original post featuring high on searches for how to develop gravitas. The original post was a quote of ten top tips for developing gravitas as found on http://www.thechangeboard/.com and is, I believe, sound advice, but I wonder what more help could be given.

 

As I reflect on the question I am sure that one does not “grow” gravitas in glorious isolation. Instead when the advice already given is acted upon in concert with a few other skills or behaviours, the benefit will compound.

 

There are three aspects that I want to explore/expand upon here. They are:-

• Persona – one needs to have a presence onto which your contacts to can hang the perception of gravitas
• Timing – A much underestimated skill is that of timing, in particular timing interjections and contributions
• Context – Gravitas is but one of the personal Roman virtues. By understanding the others and considering how they support and enhance the perception of gravitas we can increase the overall impact of any development.

I use the term Persona to describe the physical presence one creates when interacting with others. My reasoning for addressing it here is as follows. One may make the most reasoned argument or valuable intervention, but if your contacts have no other reason to remember you then it is likely that they will forget your contribution, if not immediately then in a short time. I am sure there is some clever scientific principle behind this, but I report it based on personal experience and observation.

 

Of course repeated reinforcement of your contribution will help combat this in time, but we don’t always have the opportunities or time for this. As they say one only has one chance to make a first impression and they do say that most first impressions are formed in the first 90 seconds of contact.

 

So practically what do I mean and what are the other considerations?

 

Well, at the simplest level let us consider two contributors making the same point. The first is tall, well dressed (in context) and well groomed contributor, while the second is average height, in average clothes and with a days (unfashionable stubble). Consider who, and whose contribution, is most likely to be best received and remembered? Of course, one can go too far and let the presence overpower the recognition of any contribution; this can be either too much or too detracting. As examples someone who is over 6’7” (2m) or maybe lets’s their hair become unkempt and unclean (outside of a rock band!), is more likely to be remember for these physical aspects rather than anything they say.

 

So what to do? I suggest mimic, equip and accentuate (not exaggerate). Look at the environment you are operating in, find one or more people who have the gravitas you aspire to, and then look at how they present themselves and endeavour to mimic it. I say mimic as I am not suggesting that you become a clone, but rather you learn from better practitioners. This could cover style of dress eg suits rather than sports jackets, ties rather than open neck, leather shoes rather than sneakers, etc.. This has to all be in context so there is no single answer here.

 

In a similar way look at how your selected models equip themselves. In my world a MontBlanc fountain pen is a good accessory, as is a leather folio. Similarly a briefcase makes a better impression than a back pack. In other situations there will be other things, but I hope you get the idea.

 

Now the accentuate aspect could also be written as personalise. This is to help one stand out enough (but not too much) and avoid being a clone. In this it is a case of taking the items identified in the previous paragraphs and deciding how to make something “your own”. As an example I knew a guy who always wore red socks; he never wore any other colour to work and people knew him for it. Similarly I have known someone who used a fountain pen in their work, but always used purple ink, not black or blue. A briefcase does not have to be leather, but could be a designer bag.

 

Of course one can go too far. Patent leather shoes to work, rarely works for a man in my world – it tends to create an impression of being untrustworthy and the rest is then forgotten. Similarly “stand out” does not mean “bad taste”. If you are in any doubt ask for someone else’s opinion and do listen to what they say.

 

In terms of Timing I am thinking about one’s interaction in groups. Of course one has to be interacting to create the perception of gravitas. When one’s timing is “on” any contribution has maximum impact, but when it is “off”, eg inadvertently talking over other people, then one is likely to irritate rather than impress (see item 7 on the original list!). Another risk is that in not managing to interject at the right point the opportunity may be lost.

 

An interesting thing about thing is that timing is situational. I remember hearing Billy Connolly, the comedian say, that he found it easier to play large auditoriums and stadiums than small venues. Why? Well, because laughter took longer to circulate and settle in larger venues giving him more time to set up his next line/gag. In a business context think about handling a one to one conversation versus a large workshop.

 

Some people are lucky and have a natural sense of timing, others have to work at it. I think that like most things, being aware of the issue is the first part to solving it/improving matters. Using this awareness to spot the best exponents and see how they do it is a good start. See how they gain attention, how they open their statements, etc.

 

Another is developing the practice of a degree of self reflection after key meetings with the intent of assessing the effectiveness of one’s contribution.

 

In terms of developing the skills I suggest a couple of approaches. The first is to practice in meetings that are not important or when with friends. See if you can develop and adopt new ways where mistakes will not damage you. This is a bit like interview technique where one often benefits from using opportunities you are striving for as some practice before an important opening.

 

My last suggestion is to look laterally at places where timing is key and have courses/classes. An example I have been seriously considering was to do classes in standup comedy. I can see that this could help not only timing, but also fashioning/honing delivery.

 

This post has become longer than I planned so I will keep the last piece on Context relatively brief. In researching gravitas and what it is I came across a list of all the Romanitas or personal Roman virtues (taken from from http://www.novaroma.com/) . The list is quite extensive and, I would suggest, still very relevant. It seems that there is a large element of mutual support between them and I find myself asking why would one not aspire to any of them in the modern world. I think that if one used them as a blueprint for the “full package” one would not go too far wrong and the combination of progress in combinations would be powerful.

 

I will leave them here as a list, but may return to them in future posts.

• Auctoritas - "Spiritual Authority"
• The sense of one's social standing, built up through experience, Pietas, and Industria.
• Comitas - "Humour"
• Ease of manner, courtesy, openness, and friendliness.
• Clementia - "Mercy"
•  Mildness and gentleness.
• Dignitas - "Dignity"
•  A sense of self-worth, personal pride.
• Firmitas - "Tenacity"
•  Strength of mind, the ability to stick to one's purpose.
• Frugalitas - "Frugalness"
• Economy and simplicity of style, without being miserly.
• Gravitas - "Gravity"
• A sense of the importance of the matter at hand, responsibility and earnestness.  
• Honestas - "Respectibility"
• The image that one presents as a respectable member of society.  
• Humanitas - "Humanity"
•  Refinement, civilization, learning, and being cultured.  
• Industria - "Industriousness"
• Hard work.  
• Pietas - "Dutifulness"
• More than religious piety; a respect for the natural order socially, politically, and religiously. Includes the ideas of patriotism and devotion to others.  
• Prudentia - "Prudence"
• Foresight, wisdom, and personal discretion.  
• Salubritas - "Wholesomeness"
• Health and cleanliness.  
• Severitas - "Sternness"
• Gravity, self-control. 
• Veritas - "Truthfulness"
• Honesty in dealing with others.  

These are personal views, but I am happy to discuss or expand upon aspects if anyone wishes to contact me.