The words that may not be spoken!

As a husband one learns that sometimes it is better to hold one's tongue. What may be seen as selective hearing by some is often wise judgement. It is harder though when it is your child!

My daughter deeply, madly, passionately wants to be an actress. So far her attempts at getting a place at acting school have been unsuccessful. The odds are pretty extreme with cases of over 1,000 applicants for every place! She has had a call back, but even that place evaporated.

So it was that last night I found myself with watering eyes as my pride in her became emotional. It was the last night of her school production in which she had the lead female role of Sarah. It was an ambitious staging of "Our House", the musical written by Madness that has graced the West End. At the end of the first half I thought I felt a little emotional, but at the end of the finale I definitely did. Not streaming tears or anything like that, but a lump in my throat, an ache in my heart and a moistness in my eyes.

In the run up to the show she had told us virtually nothing about what she was doing or how it was going. We knew she had to sing solo a couple of times (we didn't know she had a voice!) and that she had some costume changes including a wedding dress, but that was all. We had just been the taxi service and hotel for her during the rehearsal period - she had been at school for 24 straight days before last night.

Yes, there were some technical faults and the odd bum note, but overall they all performed brilliantly. She sang NW5, a more recent Madness song rendered more like a ballad and was part of a clever duet of Labi Siffre's "It must be love". Recording anything of the show was difficult with copyright issues, but I did manage to snatch some of her singing using my mobile phone. What Dad wouldn't?

She was mortified to think that I had a recording and is adamant that I must destroy all trace, but you know how hard it is to delete very electronic record these days :) !

We are not allowed to tell her how well she did. In the hall the "diva" came out and we were all allowed to kiss her cheek - even me, but once outside any attempt to express pride or appreciation is met with a grumpy response and admonishment to "shut up". This is the usual state of affairs that I deeply hope is just "those difficult teenage years".

She glowed while on stage and I think her voice could be very good with some training. It is easy to see why she wishes to pursue it as a career which is what makes it hard when you are only allowed to whsiper about it when she is out of hearing. I guess as a parent one should always feel proud about your kids and maybe I just have to be satisfied holding that feeling inside, but I will confess that it is hard not to be allowed to shout it from the rooftops even if only metaphorically.

So now she has the run into A-Levels and then.......the rest of her life!

"A proud parent"