Counting One's Blessings & Male Anorexia

As the parents of a teenage girl, my wife and I have faced a few challenges. These have included control battles about what she wears, what she eats, how much studying she does and if and where she goes out. At times his has been a real struggle, creating huge tensions between the three of us; wife, daughter and me.

Fortunately there are signs that we may be on the brighter side of the mountain now. In truth it seems to have been after she surprised herself with better GCSE results than even she expected and then embarking on a new phase of her schooling in Sixth Form.

The first sign was a lack of fight getting her up and out to school in the morning - she does it all herself. Then a strong performance when talking in front of the school elicited a lot of praise and encouragement from her teachers, we saw a new ambition in her eyes. She has since moved on in her interest in drama, taking her LAMDA (London Academy of Music and Dramatic Arts) exam and, following a stint modelling on a school fashion show, she has been asked to do the same for a big Charity Show early in 2012. Linked with this she has now been on three photography shoots and from what we have seen, acted like a pro, as if she had done it all her life.

She has also been taken on for part time work in the clothing section of our local garden centre. The phrase "like a duck to water" comes to mind and she has already had good periods when she has been alone an fully responsible for the department. The feedback from others we know there has been very positive.

The last too pieces I wanted to record before I look too smug have happened just recently. Both happened yesterday. The first reacted to an disagreement we had about how high the stratosphere s above the earth. It does not matter how that dispute came up, but suffice it to know my daughter was adamant that I was wrong and she was right. Then yesterday morning she spontaneously admitted I was right. When I asked, she confirmed that she had bothered to look it up online. This effort to look something up surprised me, but more than that was the fact that she bothered to tell me I was right. In the past, to have admitted her Dad was right, would have been too painful to contemplate and thus would never have happened.

The second item was her conversation after I had taken her to see the latest Sherlock Holmes film last night. Not only did she enjoy it, but she was asking questions about the plot structure and commenting on how the film was shot and edited. This links with her work in drama, but shows a growing maturity and depth. I am very proud of her.

Putting this all in perspective is our concern and support for friends whose young son seems to have developed anorexia or something similar. We have only just learned about this, though it does seem to have manifested rather quickly anyway. A little research shows that male anorexia is rare and often not recognised until quite late. He is very successful in many ways; school, singing and sport to name but three aspects, yet somehow something is not right. In respecting their privacy it would be wrong to go into any detail here, but seeing the worry, stress and strain they are all under has certainly made me count our blessings and value them at least double.

In respect of our friends all we can do is be the best support we can be. We have been researching the topic, exchanging messages as they travel away for New Year and we will be there for them all in 2012.
Since becoming a parent, I have learnt so much about so many things I would never have dreamt I would. Male anorexia looks as it will now join the list. One thing to be thankful for is the knowledge bank that is the Internet, it makes researching topics do much easier. In case anyone else is looking for information on male anorexia, a useful link is www.anorexiaboy.co.uk .