Experience - what is it?

As a young man fresh from university and starting my career in the City I was not short of confidence. I was ready to and believed I could take on pretty much anything. Truth be known I still do - but I am more selective about where I put my effort these days.

I was chomping for promotion, for bigger roles, more responsibility and, of course, the rewards that go with all that. When I did not secure a role I wanted I was frustrated. Often the response was that I did not (yet) have the experience required. This felt like Catch 22 - how could you get the experience if one did not have the chance to accumulate it.

Now I cannot complain. Overall I have had a long, varied, interesting and pretty rewarding career, so I guess I can't be doing it all wrong. I think at almost 54 if I don't have experience now then I probably never will.

I don't recall what triggered it, but  the other day I found myself reflecting on experience and indeed what experience is. I came up with four aspects that I thought I would capture. My headings are:

• Knowing yourself
• Knowledge that puts your environment into perspective
• A good stock of stories
• Fearless fear

When I first wrote this list down I was surprised to see nothing about technical or detailed understanding of the business I find myself in. I have thought about this and am still happy with my list. The detailed stuff falls into domain expertise rather than the more general experience I considering here. A skilled student can become a techincal expert, but that does not mean they are experienced.

So what do the items on my list mean?

Knowing yourself - This is about knowing who you truly are, what drives you, what satisfies you, where your work/life balance is and what your emtional and psychological aspirations are. I think that many follow the herd, tend to conform to the norm in these things, especially when younger. If that fits then that is fine, but if it is not then success can be elusive. Using a sporting anology, if I took a promising and talented young footballer and pushed him into a rugby team, he may well survive and perform adequately, but it is unlikley that he will achieve as much as he would in football. Of course nothing is certain and there are excpetions, but knowing who you are is key.

This takes some people longer than others and some may never find out who they are. The oft reported comment from deathbeds of "I wish I had worked less?" is, I think, supporting evidence for this point.

Knowledge that puts your environment into perspective - This comes from having seen and lived a life. It is the ability to better judge ones actions and reactions when the world throws things at you. It is not about ceasing to care but rather placing events and implications in a realistic order and understanding their true scale. In my career I have seen at least three financial slumps, partaken in certain excesses, been made redundant and had to make others redundant. I have also been part of a 27 year marriage, have a beautiful daughter and met many good people, many of which I would consider friends now.

This means that when the next curve ball comes my way I can assess it better, respond appropriately and most likely navigate through it.

I guess the more you live the better your perspective (good or bad) - the question is how much do you need?

A good stock of stories - As a change agent stories are powerful tools and the longer I live, the more I do the greater the number of stories I have to hand. These are powerful not just to catalyse change, but to build rapport with others.

I am a little unusual in that I have no interest and little knowledge about football and I don't and have never smoked. These have been and still are (though smoking less so these days) subjects that glue many people together, both personally and professionally. As such I was aware that I missed out on a lot of informal information and opportunities.

With 30+ years of stories I now have something for most ocassions and situations. Interestingly my excursion into stand up comedy has been a huge boon when meeting people and lifted the perception some had of me. This sort of links to the last item.

Fearless fear - This sounds like a contradiction and to a degree is. What mean though is that with perspective above I think that expereince allows one to dial down the levels of personaly fear in many situations, fear that paralyses and constrains you. It does not mean that you do not know fear, but rather you only fear the right things.

As a couple of examples, as a young man the idea of a girl saying "No" if I asked her for a dance was horrifying - it felt as if my world would collapse and the shame would be unbearable - so much so that I rarely managed to ask. With the benefit of 40 years I would feel no fear in such a situation. More recently a young girl I was mentoring was looking for advice from older role models (not me before you ask!), but was afraid to approach any of these public names. Instead I was happy and able to reach out to the ladies in question (who I did not know) and secured meetings for her. She was paralysed by fear, while I felt none.

Fear has its place and to have no fear makes one dangerous, the key is to have it dialled down to the right level for the situation - that is part of experience.