Sun, beer and not here!

With my annual holiday fast approaching I find I am looking forward to it more each day. I joke about "sun, beer and not here", but there is certainly a large element of truth in it. A change is certainly good for you as is a dose of what you enjoy; I count sun and beer in that mix.

I guess it is becoming more poignant as my daughter grows up that this will probably be one of our last family holidays. It is always a challenge to find a way to keep everyone happy and we have had our share of success and failure, but, as we go along, I find I truly treasure magic moments with my family, especially my daughter.

I was reminded of this last Friday when I took her, just her and me, for an evening of golf. It is school holidays and she had been promised some golf, but so far that had not happened. She looked a picture dressed up in her golf gear, borrowed some of her Mum's shoes as she has grown out of her own, and off we set.

We played 18 holes into the early evening on a largely deserted public golf course. I am not sure I have the words to describe how good it was to watch her smile when she hit a "sick" (sic) shot (that means a good one I am told) and how she accepted and bounced back from some less good shots.

She was so chuffed when she lost a ball, having hit it so far that when it ran into the rough she lost sight of it and could not find the ball. Similarly when on a tee shot she managed to fly two ditches and land running on the fairway she was beaming. Overall she has a nice little swing and with practice will have a fair game.

We spent four hours together and I don't think there was anything, but smile and fun between us. I let her play her game, encouraging where I could, taking the jibes she gave back, but everything was in the best humour.

It reminded me of an entry I submitted to The Times a couple of years ago when they wanted 300 word stories about love. My contribution is found below. I never did find out if they published it, but  that was not the point; the point was that I wrote it.

We won't play golf while we are away as we find the aggravation of trying to arrange it all, then detracts from the enjoyment. We will undoubtedly play minigolf and do plenty of other things as a family. If I can recognise and enjoy a few more times like that golf game then the holiday will be so much richer. They will give me something to reflect on and smile about as I enjoy a beer, which I will surely do at some point.

Supernova Good
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(written a few years ago)

"Come on, admit it. I am better than you!"

This had been her cry from the very start, but it was not a competition – well not for me. Instead this turned out to be one of those happenings, more than a moment, but less than forever; something that feeds the soul and nurtures love, more than making up for other troubled times.

Nothing can prepare you to be a parent. Love just appears and is irrevocable, no matter what happens. The challenges you face are unique in the same way that you and your child are unique. As they grow it does not become better, just different.

When they are young you live for those good morning smiles as they open their eyes and the spontaneous hugs that reach inside and grip your heart.

As they grow older and more self conscious you need to find other moments. Teenage years can be barren, but a time when you see a new, fuller person emerge. It can be much harder to love your child as they test themselves and you, but still you do and when it is good it can be supernova good.

To others this was simply a father and child playing 9-hole golf. To me it was a magnificent afternoon. We talked, we laughed, we helped each other, we kissed at the end and we reflected over a drink. Yes there was a frisson of competition, at least in her mind, but that just added to it.

I was so proud that she was my daughter and privileged to have spent such time with her. I doubt it meant the same to her and she will forget it quickly, but I never will. It will remain one of those treasures I draw upon to balance the challenges ahead.