What do you want from life (and soccer) ?

In the late 1970's I saw a West Coast satirical band called The Tubes when the played the New Theatre, Oxford. Their best known track/single was probably "White Punks On Dope", but there is another that has been running around my head for the last day or so, called "What Do You Want From Life" - and yes, I do have a very eclectic music collection to which an iPod Touch has given new life.

But I digress. The reason it is going around my head is that recently I was asked by friend what I wanted from my work. I came back with my usual and honest response about a challenge, being trusted and respected, about having enough freedom to do what I do well, etc.. These are all true, but did not satisfy my enquirer as evidenced by him asking me the same question a couple of times more.

In truth this is not the first time I have been asked the questions, or answered in that way, or, in all probability, left the person who answered the question unsatisfied.

As I said my answers were all sincere and true, but kept niggling at me until, as I walked home along the river last night, I had an epiphany - or at least I think that is what it is. The things I have vocalised are what I need from a job in order to perform at my best, but needs are not wants! What I want is accountability and responsibility for a piece of a business; people, processes and relationships. I want to be able to make and learn from mistakes. I want to be recognised and rewarded for the outcomes I deliver and not have my every word and nuance microscopically dissected. I am good at what I do, I know that. That I don't always do it the way someone else would does not make it wrong.

This is something I had in my earlier career when I built, fixed and indeed dismantled business units. These were exciting and rewarding for me on many levels, but I had forgotten quite how much and how I miss them.

I also recognise that in the last 10 years I have moved much more to roles of influence or solo production. In addition these have nearly always been subject to considerable consensus oversight and minimal personal authority. 25 years ago I owned and managed a $2m budget, now I can sign of on £50k! A lot of this is to do with the changes in the way business is done in the financial sector, but there are other infrastructural reasons. For example, increased regulation has manifested in so many checks and balances that have impinged on individual authority in so many ways. The professed need to document and evidence every decision has created its own industry, but debating the real value of this is better addressed elsewhere and not the intent of this post.

Instead it made me realise that what want is not a safe, cover your ar*e, compulsively consensual role, but instead to live closer to "the edge". To be able to take calculated risks (not to be reckless as that is something else), to be able to act with courage, passion and pace excites me.

This brings me to the soccer connection. The No Fear brand was, I believe, closely associated with soccer in the US. Some years ago I liked the brand and two things stuck my mind, but have only just resurfaced.

The first was the slogan on my first No Fear T-shirt which was "The edge is a dangerous place to live". While this is true, it is also exciting and makes life worth living.

The second was the No Fear slogan which is "Face your fears, live your dreams". Not a bad motto for life!!

So where is this going? Well, it was a welcome and timely reminder to me about remembering the difference between wants and needs. If you equate this to Maslow's hierarchy, needs are the lower level items, essential to survival, but not ultimately fulfilling. The wants are the higher level items and the source of fulfillment.

Losing sight of what one wants is not a good thing, but it maybe a situation I now find myself in after the (necessary) survival efforts of the last few years. So it is time to lift my head and recognise my wants AND then endeavour to fill a few of them without sacrificing my needs..