What will your epitaph say about you?

Many coaches and trainers will ask you to draw up your own eulogy, what you would like to be said about you at your funeral. It is a common way to try and give perspective, especially around emotional aspects of ones life. Others look for your obituary, but not everyone finds it easy to do this. There is the old adage that no one will wish they had spent more time in the office and this is undoubtedly true in 99.99% of the cases, but it often provides humorous cover for more important issues

It may be the challenge of introspection or British humility, so I suggest that you look at your epitaph, what would be carved on your headstone if/when you are buried. This is likely to be short, pithy and probably based on something someone has already said to you. It is also useful to keep in mind as a regular guide to achieving better outcomes. Of course you may not always pay attention to it, but being conscious of the content is more than half the battle.

I raise this as a good friend said something to me recently that has stuck in my mind. Before I address  that I will admit that I have half jokingly, half seriously said before that my epitaph should be:

"Never knowingly without an opinion."

This reflects my curiousity and propensity to think (sometimes maybe too much?) about things and a willingness to put that into words, especially if someone asks what I think about a subject. What comes out is usually a mixture of knowledge, instinct, and prediction, looking at the wider and future consequences of something happening now. It is just what I see, how my mind works. It is not always in line with common thinking, but is genuinely what I think.

What happened was a friend said to me that one of the challenges I had was being too honest, hence the epitaph that is now in my head:

"Sometimes too honest for his own good."

On one, very important, level I am not unhappy with that in that honesty and personal integrity  are very important to me, but there is a truth in there. His comment was that I do not always think enough about the immediate personal consequences for me when I share my thoughts - and that I must agree is true. I tend to speak the pure truth as I see it (I know that sounds pompous, but I am struggling for better words - please see the intent and not a bombastic statement) even when it is against my personal interests.

It is a useful insight and in these challenging times, one to keep very much in mind. This does not mean I will become untruthful, because I won't! I couldn't live easily with myself if that were the case, and it would show. Instead I will just keep it in mind when when engaged in those 50:50 conversations, and maybe promote my personal interest more than I have in the past.

My new target is:

This, I feel, is a betterone for success in these troubled times.

Out of curiousity, does anyone else want to share their future epitaph?